2 things to do when leaving an abusive marriage

Posted by Adrian S. Doty, Esq. | Feb 21, 2022 | 0 Comments

Most marriages start off as loving relationships. Many will continue on that way, but some will shift toward abuse. The abuse doesn't always happen suddenly, and it's not always physical. In some cases, the relationship turns emotionally abusive and controlling before the person starts the physical abuse. 

If you're not being abused and can safely stay where you are, you have a little time to get things ready to leave. Just remember that at the first sign of danger, you should be prepared to leave the home

Save some cash or have a credit card handy

You need to save some money or have a credit card that you can use for immediate expenses when you leave. A little cash plus money in a bank account might be useful. These should be in your name only so your soon-to-be-ex doesn't have access to the information. If you must, ask a trusted friend or relative to hold onto your money until you're ready to leave.

Gather up all important documents

If possible, try to get your birth certificate, as well as the birth certificate for any child you're bringing with you when you leave. Immunization records are also important. You may even want to make a copy or take a picture of the most recent bank, investment, retirement accounts, credit card, mortgage, and vehicle loan statements. These can come in handy during the divorce. 

Anyone who's in an abusive marriage should leave right away if they're in physical danger — even without preparation. Once you're safe, you can work on filing for divorce. This might feel like a big step, but it severs the ties between you and your abuser. Work with someone who's familiar with divorces that have an element of abuse so you can find out what options you have to remain safe. Your safety has to be a priority during this process. 

About the Author

Adrian S. Doty, Esq.

Adrian Doty is a Senior Associate Attorney at Sunnen Law. Mr. Doty began his legal career working as a civil litigation attorney in Los Angeles before moving to the Bay Area in 2014 where he gained complex civil and family law litigation experience working for one of the largest family law firms.He has experience with a variety of complex Family Law matters, including complex and high-net-worth case matters custody and visitation disputes, contempt and post-judgment enforcement, military-family law issues, and domestic violence restraining orders. Mr. Doty understands how emotionally difficult family law matters can be, which is why he is dedicated to the efficient management of his client's cases. While he always works to achieve settlements through negotiation when possible, he aggressively litigates to protect his clients' interests when necessary. 


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